Are You Fucking Serious?

A new soda is being developed in India that is made out of cow piss.  Now, I could have used the word “urine” instead of piss, but are you fucking serious?  This drink is a product of the Hindu caste system that keeps India from becoming as great as it could be.  It’s so that the people at the bottom can be more spiritually enlightened.

 The caste system works like this: if you’re born at the bottom, you’re destined to be poor, ugly, and you’re going to hell.  At the top, you have your rich and beautiful that get a first class seat on the flight into heaven.  You’re born into it.  Ya can’t help it.  And ya can’t rise above your level- so why even try?  So, this will “help” the people on the bottom be looked upon better in time for the afterlife or reincarnation or whatever.  So, if you’re at the bottom, you’re poor.  So, this is simply the rich caste stealing what little the poor caste has.  Oh, by the way, if you’re somewhere in the middle, your goal in life is to serve the guys at the top.

 If you’re trying to sell crazy here, sorry- we’re all stocked up.

 If any level so much as touches someone on the bottom, then you’re now filthy and just like ‘em and shunned.  Yeah, they’re working really hard to help out their poor in India.

 Cow piss.

 India is now rapidly racing toward becoming the big dog in the yard, so just like a political candidate, all their dirty laundry is starting to come out.

 I can’t wait to visit there and see the Taj Mahal.  Even though I’m the Soda Jerk, I’ll be damned if I’m going to drink cow piss.  I’ll leave that to Andrew Zimmern.